Well, I feel like I'm married to a psychopath. He even agrees he is. It fits him to a T. He wants a divorce. He's given me the ILYBINILWY speech once again. This time though, he's hasn't left. He has abandoned us before (4 years ago), when the kids were babies. That time he went to jail for theft and was in over Christmas. Turned out he was having an affair, and he says he's still has feelings for this person to this day. He said he felt something with her he has never felt for me. Right now he's in an Internet relationship. This is the first time I didn't tell him I knew as soon as I did. We are supposively getting a divorce the "right way" this time (instead of him leaving me a SAHM and penniless and him getting fired or laid off from another job). We are actually on vacation right now and I had to call the police on him last night. (He has ups and downs, he will go months of being fairly 'normal' to him acting out). Last night, he would not give me the key cards to our hotel room (the kids were inside) and he threw our debit card out into the courtyard (turns out it wasn't the debit card but I did not find this out until talking with an officer). He also kept telling me to kill myself, even pointing where my head should land so I would be successful. So I'm just at a loss. I've pointing out most of his bad qualities in the post, he doesn't want to be married to me, never had he says and I love him very much but I do not want his instabilities to hurt our children. I've been with him half my life, since we were 15. (I'm 30 now, married for 7 years). This is all very general, I could say much more specific instances of cheating, him 'winning' me back. It just shocks me this is my life. I just want love and to feel safe.
