WAW and the Big D

[Bdog37]

Journaling/Venting

This is going to be a messy D and not by my doing. My STBEW has become someone that I am starting to despise. Without going into too much of it, as I already have in a previous post, I had the girls on Mother's Day. Not by my choosing, but I was certainly blamed for keeping them away from her. Go figure...

I really don't care that she is telling friends and family that I'm keeping the kids away from her. I know the truth and have proof so that's just not the case. I've been printing our text messages, keeping a journal, and writing all this down on a calendar. All of which will be sent to my L.

The part that is starting to make me despise her is the fact that she has told multiply mutual friends that she plans to go for full custody. This hurts me deeply... First, she rips out half my heart by having an affair and now she wants to take the other half?!?!

How can someone be so cruel?? It just hurts so bad coming from someone I loved so much. Someone I imagined spending the rest of my life with. Someone who I would have taking a bullet for. Someone who was my best friend. It stings so badly that I am now worried I'm jaded and will never love/trust again.

I fear that this D is going to get so out of hand because she is going to force me to protect myself. Unfortunately, I think that is the moment when the best interest of the children gets put aside for the selfish reasons of the S's. I don't want that for my girls. They don't deserve that at all!! I would NEVER keep them from her so how could she want to keep them from me. Why can't she see that co-parenting is the best situation for OUR kids??