What Accuray posted above about the event and the meaning we apply to it (often causing pain to ourselves) reminded me of Guy Winch's emotional first aid TED talk - well worth a listen.
I agree about the 'due caution' advice. Take your time. Have a little exchange via email. Have a chat by phone. Meet for coffee in a public place. Let someone know where you are etc Don't accept a lift and so on. I think if you do all of these things, you will stay safe. And I think we are about as likely to meet a serial killer as win the lottery, so I wouldn't even worry about that!!
My advice would be - if you're going to dip a toe in - do just that and keep it light. There's no need to look for a relationship as such, at such an early stage - but some company and fun may be nice...
As for the 'let down' speech - before I met XH I tried OLD and went out with a guy. We met once and had a pleasant evening (though no spark for me) and then he told me he was looking for a life partner and I wasn't it.... ookay I never forgot that one!
As for rejecting someone. I was asked out recently (by text) by a guy who seems perfectly decent, but I just didn't have a romantic interest. I had to google - how to kindly refuse a date!! I did feel uncomfortable, and I tried to respond as kindly and politely as I could. And the googling sure helped with some kind phrases...
Another thing that happened to me was being asked out by a guy slightly older than me - who said he thought I was in my mid 30s. I told him my actual age and he lost interest completely - go figure! So I think we do have to take a little rough with smooth with OLD.
Actually, I think dancing is a great (no pressure) way to come into contact with guys. I go to a salsa class and they rotate the women around the guys so you get to meet them all - a sort of 'speed' dating environment where you have a little chat, a little dance and move on.
My dance teacher has had about 8 people marry from her classes so far!!
Xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
