After 35 years of M -- more than I've been alive -- I have no place to tell you this....in fact, I've been out drinking with the other officers, so...take it with several grains of salt...
However, I see you writing a LOT about H. I see a lot of excuses about why you can't date. Why you couldn't date someone if they did X, because then it would be over. I see fear. Granted, people are right to say you should date when you feel you are ready to date......BUT... I think it's probably one of those things where you never really feel ready and just have to jump in head-first.
I met a JAG recently -- my age -- she's very attractive, intelligent, etc. Oddly enough, I spent the afternoon with her today doing work stuff, but we started to get to know each other just a little bit. It's difficult to get her to laugh, but I found it is possible. She is very analytical, possibly as much or more than me! She views the world through her own lens, one that is fairly foreign to me.
Distraction? Perhaps.
But I'll tell you what, I feel much better thinking about the JAG right now than my selfish, cheating, W. As much as I love my W...there are some facts that you can't get around. And this is the guy who has forgiven her to the bottom of his heart saying this.
So...what's my point? Maybe you need to get out of your own way, if only just for a minute. Go on a date. Worst case you get a free dinner! Best case........free meals for life! I'm joking, but....seriously... I was not ready to date 3-4 days after BD or even 3-4 months after BD. My marriage meant the WORLD to me. She was THE ONE. THE FùCKING ONE.
Or was she?
Because this boy had a nice time this afternoon with a girl...even if it was simply stupid work stuff.
So I think you should consider it, because the consequences are negligible...and who doesn't like free stuff?
