Wife wants divorce, but hasn't said divorce

[25yearsmlc]

As I have said, I am confused by so many things:

- We are still going to marriage counseling even though she says she is calling it on our marriage in the sessions. Is it just to placate me? If so we are just wasting money.

1) you said she had post party depression and is being treated, but it's not all that fast to resolve. So she's either confused AND OR wants to check the "went to MC" off her list to say she "tried"...

- She still wears her wedding ring. Undecided. It's not a bad sign but it may be totally neutral. Don't read too much into it.

see above^^ #1


- She knows she will need to get a full time job but has talked about getting a part time job for the summer as a farm hand so she can get into the nature and conservation field. It would make more sense for her to get a full time job and start saving money.


it's not your job to decide her financial future. Not your job to warn her of consequences of any choices she makes. Plus there is a baby to consider.


And a full time job will dictate where she lives, and then where I live.
- She expected me to do something special for her on Mother's Day and was upset when I did not. I got her a card from our son. I feel like her expectations here were ridiculous.

With a newborn baby I do not think it's ridiculous. I think it would have been thoughtful of you since she is the mother of your only child. And b/c you know she's being treated for post partum depression, which is not "the blues", it's a real disorder that about 15% of mothers get and it's real. - it would not seem ridiculous

I found It especially meaningful to me to get something from h that showed appreciation from the father of my child, for the career sacrifices I made and the sleepless nights, the long days and in your w's case, the post partum depression. Not to mention her need to plan a life she did not plan, i.e. being a single mom. Your son could not thank her, so it was left to you.

When you get feedback from your w like this about Mother's Day - don't argue with it. Listen to it. It's about what HER needs were. That might not be what you think they should be.

Make sense?

- She tells me about her day and her friends, as if there is nothing major going between us.

As I said, everything is confusing me at this point.