Had a conversation with the wife over the phone today, and she made me feel good and awful about my communication with her, how I cannot and do not communicate and how that is the reason we are here. I understand that on some level.
I don't know why I struggle to communicate with her. It's such a bad cycle. I don't communicate, she explodes on me, and then I withdraw even more and don't communicate, and we repeat. I am finding so much difficulty breaking the cycle here.
I do know that my issue really comes back to my childhood and the unconscious lessons I learned. If I do not know the outcome of the communication, I will avoid it so as to stay safe. In our case, safe from any anger or other emotional outbursts. I understand this isn't good, but this is the cause I have discovered. I am still working on breaking the pattern for myself. I think I have to remember the matra "Whatever happens, I can handle it".
