Jumping Rope

[giftd]

Called last night when she'd be out of work, she didn't answer, I didn't leave a message.

Sent a text this morning saying I would like to talk for 2 minutes, would be best. She called a few minutes later. I asked if she needed more space from me. She said "what we've been doing is fine". I said that I am just trying to make sure I give her what she needs right now. I don't want her to feel trapped. She congratulated me on graduation and asked how it went. I guess my friend sent a photo to her. I said it was fine, very long. She said she was proud, then reiterated that she can need space and still be proud of me. I just said thanks.

I started to move to end the conversation at this point but she asked about a move out date. I said we didn't have one yet (we do, I just didn't want to talk about it now) and asked why she wanted to know. She said she wanted to get her stuff out of the way and had to plan ahead to do it (no mention of the animals). I didn't reply to this and said that I wouldn't be calling or texting for a while but I'm here to talk if she wants to. I ended with I hope you are doing ok and she said "I hope you're doing ok". I said I'm doing just fine and I could hear her choke up a bit. I then said have a good day and hung up.

It doesn't feel good. The friends I had been preparing to do this with said it went well, I'm not in a place to see how it really went. I'm kind of just looking at it as a way to do what I say. 3 weeks of no contact. Honestly I'm pretty scared I'm going to lose her completely during this time. Stubborness is her superpower. Sometimes we call it determination, other times it's just her being pigheaded.