On Higher Ground

[roist]

Hawho

Your H is definitely trying in both senses of the term.

I won't argue with your view of too little too late. But there does seem to be efforts to reconnect/be normal with you. These seem to be more regular than before. I like that repeatedly you have noticed things are better than they have been.

Yes H is not acting ideally nor is it a great role model of parenting , couples nor family behavior. How will that affect your children? Idk. That is a long discussion that I need more time to reply but I share many of your previously given reasons for staying.

Although neither of ye are receptive at the moment, imagine that a year from now H becomes the man he was and does what it takes to rewin your heart. In such a case this is just a phase who's affect on your children will be negated by future positive interactions.

Even if reconciliation does not happen you should just look at this time as being a phase. It will end one way or another. You have grown tremendously and that will stand to you and your children regardless

On the net there are tonnes of pages describing the negative affects of D; n children. Maybe as Gingers story highlighted those affects are probably not as severe if the family/parents were dysfunctional. Maybe at this stage the shock of D would be less than in a household where the children were unaware of the dysfunction. I am sure there are still negative affects and D is not a phase!

I am against D but you have weathered what most people could never do. If you decide that you truly want it to end, you can hold your head up high. But you H: s slowly improving. Why not see where that leads? Whilst waiting to see how that develops expand your own life. Fill it with fun. Forget about h as much as possible. I know that is not easy with a live in mlcer but I know you can do it.

I will be back with further ramblings as your posts trigger many thoughts for me.

Best wishes