Help - Setting Boundaries, WW in EA - Thread #4

[Woke_Up]

Well, not much has changed since my last update. W apologised the next day by text and said she didn't mean it.

I have taken D's passport and put it somewhere safe.

Things have been mostly OK with minor arguments. Last week, W was going on about how she wanted 100% from the sale of the house, I didn't need anything as I had a good job. The kids liked the house. Then she said she could have the house, she would find a way to pay for it. I said she would have to figure out how to do it and to talk to the mortgage company to see if it was even possible, as she would need to get me off the mortgage, as she wouldn't be having me liable if she couldn't pay. She looked a bit perplexed, don't even think she'd thought that through. She's not good with money, so I don't trust her. She also told me I'd done everything wrong in this situation. I said I'd tried everything from ignoring it to trying my damnedest to end the EA and nothing had worked and I didn't think anything would have worked. She couldn't really answer that one. Later I told her not to do anything that would risk our children's future. If she married someone else, they could have claims on her stuff. She said it was never going to happen, and then waggled her little finger, indicating penis size... OM is not blessed in that dept, not that it matters to this whole mental situation.

I've been having some screwy dreams lately, I don't usually even remember dreams. Last one ended with me slashing OM's throat with his own knife. Disturbing.

W has moments of closeness, random hugs, cuddles kisses, and on a couple of occasions, when D5 has been cuddling us, she has said 'cuddles with 2 people I love'. Other times she has been cold and distant.

I'm meeting my friend for lunch on Friday, and will hopefully get some advice, maybe some recommendations for an L, as I have t sorted that out yet. I don't want to use the local one I talked to, as it is hard for me to get there while working away in London. I want a specialist anyway, someone who is used to dealing with crazy situations, and can help ensure that my children are kept safe and at least ensure joint custody.

I also found out that MiL obviously knows more about this than W letvon - MiL was giving S16 her iPhone as a present, and I saw a message from W to MiL saying she needed the pictures back from her phone before she gave it to him. MiL sent her pictures of OM, including the (tiny) penis pic! Talk about collaborating. I guess W did it for safe keeping in case I deleted anything from her phone again. (Like she deleted all of her messages to me from my phone).

It doesn't look like MiL has even tried to talk sense into W. Blood is thicker than water, as always.

I'm not detached yet. I'm having better days, but sleep is still not great. I get home late, bath and read with D5 (her reading is coming along so much, fills my heart to hear her), eat, and then it's time for bed. Then my mind wakes up, and the demons have their little play with me. I still keep wanting to contact OM, keep trying to end the EA, make him understand it's all a bunch of lies, even though O know, I bloody well KNOW it won't work. I've resisted so far.

We've had the house valued by 3 real estate agents, all pretty similar valuations. In the meantime, W is often talking about long term things for the house. Today she messaged me to say her beauty therapist was interested in paying us to keep her horse on our land, which would involve us buying a stable and getting some paddock fencing!

Day by day. Hour by hour. I went in the garage last night and hit the heavy bag for a bit. That helped. Need a rethink on my GAL to fit things in with the limited time available. Detach. Distance. Observe. That will be my mantra.