On Higher Ground

[HaWho]

Ownit - this sure is tough on the kids. Hate to sound like a public service announcement, but all we can do it show our unconditional love for them and teach them strong coping skills. We all face adversities in our lives and most people come out stronger and smarter for it.

Brubeck - my h's slip into the fog was more gradual than your wife's. But it is hard to watch them play whack-a-mole for years.

So, for posterity, I am positing about Mother's Day. This is my third Mother's Day in MLC. Geez. It was better than the past two. The first, 2015, was a disaster, h was in full replay and was a zombie. The second h went through some small motions. This year, h went through some "better" motions. It of course, still had the veil of weirdness that shrouds MLC.

H wrote a cute poem. (Not at all romantic but whimsical and fun.) This is what he used to do on all holidays. He signed it from all of them, even the dog. (The first year no card nor gift.) He bought flowers and a dessert I love. He specifically said the dessert was from him. The kids made me breakfast. Then we all took a walk together. All in all, a nice day. I thanked them all and sent them all a text the next day to say thanks again. Received the same response from both s13 and h: the same smiley emojicon.

H did call his m and had the boys call. This was super awkward. In front of me he told his mother that it was all about me, my day, etc. It really seemed like he was was painting himself as this perfectly normal person and us, as this high functioning couple. How far from truth the facade is.

There was one point where s13 told h that h is in his room 99% of the time. H looked really surprised and disputed that. They just don't see reality.

H continues to be pretty aware of the kids, their routines and their lives. Sometimes he helps in the same ways s13 helps out. They do at times seem like they are the same age.

There are still PA moments. He is ignoring me right now. Last night, the kids were at practice and I was not home as I went out with friends. I didn't tell him I went out as I knew they would all be out. While I was out, h came home with s11 and wanted to leave him there--he never does this during practices. He texted me this nasty message asking if I was coming home "--like now." And that is really what he wrote!

I picked up the message an hour later and said I wouldn't be home for a bit. And that, has landed me on the "ignore her existence list." And exactly just how immature does this get? This morning as I was leaving for work, h announced to the kids that he would order pizza "for them" for dinner. I popped my head back in and asked if I heard right. (This would mean I did not need to rush home to make dinner.) H: (very emphatically): yes, I was planning on ordering THE BOYS pizza. Me: okay, great. H (looking like it's a HUGE burden): Do you want me to order YOU some? Me (cheerful): no thanks!

As I closed the door I did mutter "idiot." Maybe he heard me?