Things continue to unroll in this weird limbo. The difference is I just don't feel anxious anymore. If he threatens to leave then I will smile gently and help him pack and open the door. I just stopped caring and I can't pinpoint the exact moment. Was it a mixture of the last year and a half of disrespect or my recent health issues? I can't answer that questions.
But I've started really enjoying my children more, feeling the sun on my skin, the air through my hair, I enjoy my various interests again. Life is good. I enjoy my work again and feel satisfaction at the end of each day. I have reached one of my highest goals, to work as a doctor, have a healthy family and spend each evening home with my children. If WH cannot fox himself and join this wonderful circle of love and happiness then I will have to move forward without him. And that's okay.
We've ML two more times and I am starting to act like a dude. Afterward I tell him good night and conk out. :lol: Before I used to ponder over if he felt anything for me, was he feeling connected to me? Was I enough to satisfy him? Now I realize that he will only be able to love me like I deserve if he can face his deep seated issues and conquer them. It really has nothing to do with me, this twisted road he is walking down. It's so freeing.
M 10yrs T 13yrs BD #1Oct 2015-PA between WAH and COW BD #2 April 2016-WH resumed PA, she broke it off Jan 2 2017 WH says he wants divorce April '17-Letting go 2018 D busted DD8, DS6, DS3
