..goin' down the only road I've ever known

[DonH]

To be sure, your comments to FF yesterday were not keeping with DBing. But I don't think you really were in a DB place, nor needed to DB, so that's okay. I actually use DB for many things in life - more often than not they get used in non R situations. So it does apply, but just the same, you are not trying to get him back (Gawd I hope not anyhow) so you don't need to DB him.

"Do you see how he was trying to tell you who he was and you kept rationalizing it away? When they tell you who they are, BELIEVE THEM!!!!"

I could not agree more with KML if I tried. People will tell us who they are if we just listen to them! I am beyond great at this - unless it's a female I'm interested in, in which case I stink at it! LOL. They are all telling me who they are, but in business and friends with no R feelings I both see and use it. In R, I explain it away or "give the benefit of the doubt." I have no doubt there were all sorts of signs and all sorts of things that you otherwise would have saw as red flags but you didn't want to see them yet. You wanted it to all work out. Still not the time to really go into all of this, so just go back to healing with your list of bad things about FF to help! Sometime down the road you can circle back to this area of a work in progress.

Ginger, I'm not at all just saying this to try to make you feel better, but as these things (like self-proclaiming he drinks too much) keep dribbling out, I really think you may have dodged a bullet here. I really do. I think had he not gone away on his own, you would have figure them out in time, but not until after months and months of pain and such. I even think that in a few months you'll be saying how you really dodged a bullet with this guy. Perhaps since he's sort of still in your circle of people, you'll see that play out with a future partner of his. Let's see if I don't end up being correct about this!