You guys aren't going to beleive this 4

[Sotto]

I really think you are making progress Thornton, and I think 25s suggested areas to work on are good ones. Whether your ex GF chooses to work on her own areas at a deeper level would be up to her of course. She may choose to engage in that process and she may not.

You of course may choose not to recommence a R with her if she does not..

I think re-finding yourself in all of this is such a wonderful thing. I also found I bent myself out of shape seeking approval and acceptance from others. This area is very much a work in progress for me - but I am making progress and I am more conscious of personal boundaries now..

Two really important questions that resonated with me from my reading & thinking:

Does this work for me?
What do I need to do to look after myself in this situation?

I ask myself these often now, and would encourage you to think about whether they can help you too...

As for your situation, I do feel now is a crucial time, where she is wavering and tearful. And actually you know that something significant does need to change - in you or her or both - in order for you not to loop again.

Actually, I think you have reached an important point yourself in that - you don't want to do that again. That happened too in my situation. I knew in my very bones that I did not want to share a life with a partner who is secretly contacting others - texting - emailing or whatever when I am not in the room. It's not how I want to live. That feeling in me runs deep now...

Anyway, I think the best response to her may be - I understand you want to go. What that means for us? I guess I would need to think about that. It isn't so simple any more..

Take care Thornton - and if you need to make other plans when the U-haul comes - do what you need to do to look after yourself in that situation.