Sandi, your timing is impeccable. Your last post above hits right at the heart.
She is still not staying in our MBR but also will not leave the house. I can't force this and she knows it.
We spoke on the phone (while I was on my way to see a lawyer) yesterday. She was literally crying for 1 1/2 hours and I held strong and firm. In fact I was a bit of an ass, but it was well deserved.
She committed (again) to breaking things off with OM and today she said she texted him all was over. Of course I requested to see text but she claims it was deleted already.
I reminded her that she broke all trust with me, her parents, and all of those that are closest to her. Crying on part continues. I asked if she would still be having this conversation with me IF she hadn't been caught again and she avoided. I probed again and she said probably not.
Anyhow a lot of back and forth and she did commit again to break ties with OM. Told her I still don't trust her at all because I have no reason too. Transparency was also brought up but it will be again just so she understands. She still isn't completely committed to MR because she still doesn't know what she wants, still isn't happy with our MR, still loves me but isn't in love with me, cliche after cliche. Told her she needs to make a decision...either commit to working on us or we separate or divorce. Told her I need a definitive answer soon. I know I should immediately put her feet to the fire, but I also wanted her to calm down and put a bit of effort into the decision before rushing just to tell me what I want or don't want to hear. I need her in a more calm state than what she was.
Today she went to a lawyer, we openly discussed this. She claims she was going because I was trying to get her out of the house and only wanted legal advice. She said her mom is so angry that she didn't feel like she could go there or that her mom would even help her out. She says she did NOT hire them or put them on retainer and since I can see bank charges, I don't think she did. She says she is not ready yet for that.
During same conversation and on her way home from the lawyer, asked if I wanted to have lunch with her my youngest?!? Really? You just saw a divorce attorney and now you ask me to lunch??? Insanity. I told her no thanks of course.
