Thank you. I feel like me telling him my true feelings while he doesn't return any of it was pathetic. But maybe it was rather brave. To be able to tell someone you loved them when you know they can't tell you back. I didn't ask him to stay or reconsider. I did say I miss him although I know us being together is not right for him. I knew I wasn't going to hear any back, but I said it anyways, and while it hurt like heck not to hear any returned feelings, saying it is either stupid or brave. Maybe a little bit of both.
I am going to try to hold my head up and be at peace.
Reading a newcomers post, well a second time newcomer, I realized I am afraid of emotional pain and I want to avoid it at any cost sometimes. I do not handle it well. Sadly enough, I have experienced tons of it. But I am getting worse, not better at accepting it and dealing with it rather than avoiding it. Rejection is actually becoming harder too, rather than easier. I used to be the "F-you" kind of chick. I have been rejected more than accepted by men. Although I know this one was not about me. Someone gave me up again.
I think with my IC I'm going to work with her on ways to better not avoid pain and rejection and work through it.
