Thornton, sounds like she's truly hurting. I've always thought that a soft heart is helpful. If you can be loving while holding boundaries and keeping your focus on your future with or without her, that's not a bad plan.
No offense to Thornton, but that^^ plan is not possible. Imho, it's part of why he's here. There are no boundaries, as she can do as she pleases, change her mind, treat him like dirt and then cry when her mood changes. It's an extremely unhealthy dynamic and given their history, only Thornton can change it.
Not to mention the two daughters who are at the mercy of this dynamic... I mean, you do love her, so why pretend to be cold when you're burning up with the desire that she reconsider? b/c he's co-dependent and she's psychologically unwell. The goal is not first to get her to reconsider but for their relationship to change, rather dramatically.
In the few short years they've been together (short to me anyhow), this has happened 3 times.
Boundaries don't have to look like disdain. I remember hearing "be the person she'd be a fool to leave." I think this is the time for you to truly be Thornton 2.0.
From where I sit,
"Thornton 2.0" would get healthy enough to be on his own, as would his wife.
Then they could get new tools for handling their emotional, communications and trust issues, which run deep.
Her mood disorder or whatever it is that creates such wild mood swings and damaging impulsive behaviors, could be treated.
Detachment from those conditions, and losing the terror of losing her,
would be goals for Thornton.
As would care for the d's b/c I feel like I don't hear much about them.
I would think it could cause deep insecurity.
They don't know where they're going to be living next year or this summer, do they?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
