180man Thread 4

[180Man]

LITB & Jim,

I thought about what you guys said. I thought quite a bit about it, actually. My W is not the same person she was. I turned my facebook on for a minute just to grab an old photo before disabling it again and I discovered that my W has started a whole new fb account using the stupid nickname she got from work. All of her peers at work call her this nickname and the first time I heard it I was like...wtf, my W has a name...and this nickname is so lame. When I heard OM call her that last summer it rubbed me the wrong way but I didn't know why. There was no A at that point in time (well, perhaps an EA), but it just didn't seem right. Anyways, she has taken on this new persona, she is not who she was and she may never be that person again. I was looking for a photo of our dog when she was a puppy and I came across old photos of my W and I. She looked so happy just a couple years ago. Looking at her fb profile photo now, she is putting on the happy face but I can tell there is sadness in her eyes. But that is her path, her decisions, her life. It may swing back toward me, but it most likely won't. Surprisingly, the new fb account didn't really bother me like I thought it would.

I went to my meeting this morning and saw the JAG afterwards. I decided to follow up with her on some questions she had regarding one of my programs. I didn't have to, the circumstances were such that I could have just gone back to my desk. There is very little reason for her to inquire about this program, it's not like she needed information for a particular reason, I think it is just idle curiosity on her part and I don't think she really knew it was my program when she first started asking about it. Who knows. Long story short, we talked for a few minutes in the hallway about this program......I offered to come by her office and answer in depth any questions she may have about it, and I also mentioned that there is a convention across town this week that has a brief on this program on Wednesday which I need to go to. Long story short, she wants to go with me to this convention.

What the fùck is going on in my life right now? Why the hell am I taking the JAG with me across town to a convention discussing a topic she has zero connection to and zero reasons to really know anything about? I could probably tell her everything she ever wanted to know about this program in under 10 minutes....but she opted to tag along with me. This is so strange. And so weird.

The thought of dating her is exciting, surreal, confusing, depressing....

But...thinking about your analogy, LITB, I guess I would I rather take this person with me to a stupid briefing and maybe have a pleasant time getting to know someone new...than sit here focusing on Mike Tyson biting my damn ear off. It's certainly not a date, that's for sure. But it's definitely not a necessary event that needs to occur, either.

My friend is in town for the week. We had dinner tonight. His W cheated on him while he was deployed a year or two ago. They're divorced now. He has been dating someone new for 10 or 11 months now, I think. He told me I need to get out of my head. He said this a couple times. My sex therapist also commented on it last week. I think they're right...but how?

What do you tell someone (like the JAG) when they inevitably ask if you're still married?