Here I go again on my own...

[Dawn70]

Hi G! Happy belated Mother's Day! I am so very sorry you are hurting so much. I wish there was something we could all say or some magic potion we could give you that would make it go away, but sadly, we all know that is not really how the world works.

I have to say I agree with Don. I don't see how any good could come from your meeting FF in person and it seems to just be prolonging the pain. I'm not in your head nor do I want to try and speak for you, but while I think it's noble for you to want to be his true friend and help him through his stuff, you have to take care of G first and I don't think being there for him allows you to do that properly. There may be a time, in the future, where you can develop a real, true friendship with this man, but right now I think your hurt and grief is too fresh. Take care of YOU, G and let FF take care of him.

My heart breaks for you, lady....prayers that you will find your way soon.

[whatisis]

Yes G, I think you want the pain to go away and by being his friend you're hoping that will make it all better. Yet, he appears to be showing you his colours again...and the hurt continues. Take care of G right now. As for other stuff, I don't think you're in a place to consider any of what was written here earlier...maybe in the future. It's not a matter of being right or wrong, it's about taking care of you and approaching relationships in a way that does that. Life and love are all about learning. Feel better, Ginger.

[Ginger1]

Thank you for support and perspectives.

I texted him earlier to see if he decided what day was best. Nothing but silence for the past 3 hours.

The no happy mother's day, text break up, yes, now probably no on the meet-up has shown me who he is and my desire for friendship isn't there.

There is no more connection, it's over, it's done. I'm at peace.

[whatisis]

Just text him and tell him you've decided that this may not be the right time to do this...wish him well and carry on.

[Ginger1]

That's what I'll do Wii. Thank you.

And Dawn, a Happy belated Mother's day to you too.

[Ginger1]

It did all blow up in my face. You was all right. But it's all good.

Onward and upward.

[whatisis]

Mr. Sulu, take us home.

[Sotto]

Sorry things didn't work out with your guy friend Ginger - I agree with the other posters. Probably best to cut him lose, grieve and heal - move forward. I understand your desire to help - but I think his stuff is his to own - and his to sort out too..

Probably things are just a bit too raw for a friendship to be formed at this stage...

Hope you start to feel much better soon xx

[DonH]

I really hope you don't hear back or even if you do, don't go see him. It really will only set you back.

That said, I can't at all agree with you that anything blew up in your face. Don't beat yourself up like that Ginger. Please don't get down on yourself. Think about all the bad things some people do in an R. That's not you. You didn't cheat, didn't even flirt with other guys (I'd assume). You didn't do anything but try to be the very best GF you could. For sure there are things you can alter in the future but this is more about him than it is about you. There were no overt warning signs, no major history, none of that. That would have been a blow up or an "I told you so" type of thing. None of that was here. So please don't beat yourself up here okay?

I read a really good suggestion for getting over someone faster - think about a few of the bad things - and there has to be some. Think how young he is and do you really want to have another child or would you gave just because he wanted it. Think about all the holidays away because he would be working. Again, I lived this and more. There were so many parties, TG dinner, Christmas that I missed due to the fire department. Whatever you can think of, do it. Dont think about the good times you may have had - think of all the bad things about him. It really does work! Thinking of a vacation you were hoping for will be depressing, thinking your new guy won't ever have to work 24 hours over. Christmas - that will help see the upsides. It really does work!

[kml]

Don't just think about the bad things - write them down in a list. My friend did this and when she was having a hard time getting over the guy, she'd read back over the list and it would remind her why she was better off without him.