i think you are confusing validating with being a nice guy, you know the kind that gets trampled on. Suggest you re-read the LBS with WW again. Again i did the same things buddy, it [censored] but it takes awhile to get into the validate and detach groove.
Natus, thanks. I will reread that and yes I'm probably being too much of a nice guy. I have been reading Blu's thread, etc. but I don't think I identify completely with the Nice Guy syndrome. I don't feel a need to be a people pleaser but that's over simplifying the whole thing I realize.
Also, you're probably right about there being no change. As the LBS its nearly impossible not to interpret everything even after knowing to guard against that. We're desperate for even the smallest glimmer of hope. Maybe I can take it as I need to detach more so that I'm not fooled into this situation again.
My weekend was about as good as it could get until after dinner on Sunday. Something about Mother's Day or birthdays can bring out an ugly and resentful side of my W. It is as if her expectations are incredibly high for these occasions and when her expectations aren't met 110% then everything and everyone is a failure. I failed to validate (from her standpoint) something much earlier in our marriage that came up and this brought a wave of resentment. Before that we had spent the weekend co-parenting through lots of activities with the kids and I was really enjoying myself. IT was a relief just to go to bed in separate bedrooms.
This morning I'm doing my best to pick up and move on from that.
Me46 W46 M25yrs T29yrs 4 children ILYBNILWY 1/30/17 PA confronted 3/6/17 Separated same house
