I agree this is a great thread. My 2 cents worth. As far as rings... H stopped wearing his before he moved out and about the same time I know affair started. I have done about everything, worn it on my right hand, not worn at all and worn it on the left. Sort of represents my state of mind for the day, but after reading this I realize I bet I'm really messing with H's mind becuase he's seen me with all three different ways. So it's back on the left hand and it's staying there.
I snooped like crazy because my inner gut told me there was an OW and he lied over and over about it. I ended up finally telling him I knew during a counseling session and since that time we have started to become frinds again. For me, I had to have him admit the truth before I could stop building up the resentment. He's still very much with OW but there is less tension between us. Maybe I would have eventually gotten to the point where I didn't care about OW, but at that juncture it was what enabled me to stop resenting him for lying stop the snooping. Just my situation however, many spouses react very differently. And both of us acknowledging it did not end the affair or bring him home... yet .
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