So, I've been down the affair route with her, and there is not one (at least, if there is, she's hiding it very well from me and his wife). We hang out with them almost every evening, I've met him, hung out with him, his wife, his kids, everything. There is an unnatural attachment, but it's not an affair, at least, AFAIK. If it ends up being there is an affair, oh well, I tried to discover it and failed, she's gonna do what she's gonna do.
She came home this afternoon, I hadn't texted her once (besides to reply to her texts) and as soon as she saw me she came over, gave me a very tight 30 second hug (which hasn't happened in months) and then asked "what did you do today? I haven't heard much from you today." we talked for a bit, and it's been a pleasant evening. This is probably the most dramatic change in my behavior she's ever seen, so I know she's wondering.
Tomorrow she's spending the day with our son and I'm going to go to church and do some things for myself. But I am encouraged by today.
