Hello friends! It's been an interesting week with a lot of developments between WH and I. I continue to be detached, and I mean truly, emotionally detached; meanwhile WH is pursuing. The funny thing is, I am not feeling that "high" I felt in the past when WH appeared to be coming around. He's relapsed so many times that I am keeping my guard up and moving forward. I am backing off asking him to move out as I really have no legal leg to stand on while we're married.
Throughout the week WH has asked about my health, joked with me, and even asked me twice to have a R conversation. One time I had one but the other time I told him I needed a break. This is a HUGE 180 for me as I used to chase, chase, chase the R talks. Now I feel very neutral about having them. Last night I got a call from work about an admission (my On Call night) and was walking through the living room giving orders (WH had dozed off on the couch and I had been sleeping in bed) and WH woke up. He asked me to sit by him and we had a long, languid talk. Then we...ML. What can I say, I hadn't had sex in over a month and had a hunger. The weird thing was afterward I felt fine but WH followed me to bed and cuddled me. I uh...read a book. lol! Today he kissed my face multiple times before going to work and I spent the day home relaxing with the kids. I had no impulse to text him, check on him or pursue. When WH came home he asked about my health again and we talked about dinner. I ordered in delivery and now I am chilling on my laptop while WH watches one of the Bourne movies.
What's the future hold for us? I have no idea and I am utterly at peace with it. If we end up divorcing it will be okay, I will be okay. I've never really felt this at peace before, it's bone deep. I still think about the affair but there is a softening in me, WH messed up so bad but there is no going back and fixing it. Now I am not afraid to tell him my boundaries, if it angers him then that's his problem. But no more doormat, no more eggshells, if he leave then he leaves.
M 10yrs T 13yrs BD #1Oct 2015-PA between WAH and COW BD #2 April 2016-WH resumed PA, she broke it off Jan 2 2017 WH says he wants divorce April '17-Letting go 2018 D busted DD8, DS6, DS3
What can I say, I hadn't had sex in over a month and had a hunger. The weird thing was afterward I felt fine but WH followed me to bed and cuddled me. I uh...read a book. lol! Today he kissed my face multiple times before going to work and I spent the day home relaxing with the kids. I had no impulse to text him, check on him or pursue. When WH came home he asked about my health again and we talked about dinner. I ordered in delivery and now I am chilling on my laptop while WH watches one of the Bourne movies. 