KGirl - new life, new stuff #2

[Georgiabelle]

Hi K-Girl,

Btw, nice post Maybell. Yes, I have been dating someone around 10 months. One of my guy friends wanted to set me up with "this really cool guy." I admit, I wasn't really looking to date so when he asked me to meet for a drink, I took 4 days to respond. I was on vacation and wasn't sure if I should go. Glad I did:-)

I might have some different issues. I am super, crazy independent. Always have been and am realizing it always plays a factor in my relationships. I have a tendency to attract guys looking for a relationship. It sounds a bit odd, but I have met the people I started relationships with when I absolutely wasn't looking. That sounds cliche and it is 100% true for me. I'm that bad cliche of love happening when you aren't looking 😉 I am trying my darndest to be honest and more open to someone "helping me."

My guy lives about 45 minutes away and has a D the same age as my youngest-7. I really never saw myself blending families or having to consider another child in my life. This is certainly not bad, however, there are times when some of this stuff is out of my wheelhouse. I try to regroup and realize that at this stage, EVERYONE has a life and some obligations. I do have my children probably about 90% of the time so I was very clear with the new guy in the beginning that I don't have a lot of time to date or go to him. After about a month of meeting him once a week, I told him that my babysitter was back at school. If you want to see me, then you will have to come to my crazy house. I realize that sounds like I'm asking a lot of someone else but I did not want to deceive him in any way or think that my situation was not what it was. If I'm being honest, most peeps wouldn't sign up for my caca. My kids are awesome. My dog is charming. I'm hilarious and have good hair but well, it's a lot to take on. No delusions here. However, he has been patient with me and super understanding. He told me a few months ago that he thinks I'm the one ( I was probably wearing my sweatpants with paint on the butt ) and he said the color drained from my face when he said that. He is funny and fantastic to me. I am however, very hesitant to discuss marriage. I don't see the need to rush and he understands that. My kids adore him and he is fantastic with them.

I think the challenge for me is that I'm cognizant of many things I need to be aware of as we move forward. I'm stubborn, headstrong and a free spirit and he has been supportive of me even when I can tell he is perplexed. What I most appreciate is that he is respectful of my thoughts (regardless of whether they are in sync with his) and I do his as well. If I could make any recommendations it would be to really live your life and not allow the OP to become your life. They should enhance your life. And I find myself relaxed and at peace in this relationship because I no longer do things because I think I'm supposed to do them. That doesn't mean I don't compromise, I just don't do things that feel exhausting or taxing. Maybe that's wrong but eh, works best for me right now.

You have always seemed like a smart, kind, lovely young lady. Perhaps (and I'm guessing) you feel you are at a place where you should give someone a chance because people say you should. Or because they express interest in you. Maybe you should really think about what qualities are truly important to YOU. I do think sometimes when people are a little more discerning they have a tendency to find someone that they connect with on a deeper level. People generally show you who they are pretty early, so believe them. Keep looking 😊