Leah, a little 2x4 for you. You are allowing your emotions to control this time and again. You guys seem to want to be back together but it is like each of you is fighting to lead the dance and getting frustrated when you butt heads.
How about a little changeup. Text him something like: H, I really want to see you. Let's start this thing over. Just text me the details about when you are coming. We will work out the rest when you get here.
Then stop all the posturing until he gets here. And then when he does, just live in the moment and have some good times. UNLESS he brings up the R. In other words. Reread DB and DR and FOLLOW them.
You see a glimmer of light and keep thinking you've found the mother lode. When it turns out not to be there, you get discouraged, emotional, and lash out, pushing him further away.
