NY - thanks so much for stopping by! You are such a sweetheart. We'll have to get a drink sometime. And I'm so happy for you! You deserve happiness and it seems like you are well on your way.
AJ - .great advice. I intend to do exactly that. Let her go. This is gonna sting.
My IC had me write out a list of W's negative qualities to review when I start idealizing her. I kept the list in my wallet and W found it.
I'm so mad she did that. As soon as she read the list, she marched into my room and went off on me again. This time I defended myself and told her I wasn't the sole reason for our split. It felt good to speak to her honestly and calmly while she spewed.
Then she started weeping and crumpled onto the ground. She talked about how I destroyed her. Huh??? Destroyed her??
Thornton, at least she still has anger. That is a feeling, an emotion. The fact that she called you out on it suggests she still cares. My H would probably have laughed about it and never said anything.
Hey Thornton, Been following along for most of your journey. I'm sorry this has happened.
Why the heck was she snooping in the first place? Like many WWs they are constantly looking for things to justify their actions so they are the victims. Good opportunity for you to stick up for yourself, say what you mean, and be upfront about the reason for the list.
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
I'm sorry that happened Thornton - and sorry for her pain in finding that too - snooping does carry risks and you may find something that causes you sadness. And yes I also wondered why she is rummaging through your wallet!! I would certainly keep it about your person henceforth!
If she asks, I would honestly tell her your IC suggested you write that list to help you heal from her decision to end the R. In writing it, you hadn't intended she would read it and feel hurt. It is a shame she looked in your wallet and found it. You could also say there is an unwritten list of lovely qualities too - and that we all have our beautiful qualities and areas we could grow to....
Or don't say anything and let her be. Honestly, she does seem to cause her own dramas I think....
(((((Hugs)))))
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
hey Thorton, just dropping by. I see you as someone who's got to have so much strength and patience to be on this roller coaster this long. I haven't read your complete stitch but If you need a person to talk to (without kids and that's usually free) reach out to NY she's got my digits and we've met up a few times. hang in there sir!
Good point, Kaizen. It's always a roller coaster ride and it all averages out to be no different today than yesterday or last week or next.
Listen to that cheesyt!
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
Got home last night after buying a new truck. I go out to the backyard just to sit and relax. W follows me outside and asks if I can talk.
W proceeds to tell me she thought a lot about what I said about both of us needing therapy. She thinks it's a great idea.
She stills plans to move but wanted to let me know she will be pursuing therapy for herself and that she still loves me. She says she hasn't closed the door on us and who knows what the future holds. She isn't opposed to trying to make things work in the future.
