Wife Says "Its Over" and is hard and angry with me

[Jim1234]

I was a bit controlling the first year or so

She also feels I never took control enough

Those are two quotes from you, about 4 posts apart. It sounds to me like she's just throwing things out there to see what sticks so she can have an excuse for her behavior. Just my $ .02

[downhub]

I agree she's throwing things out there, but I was controlling about the wrong things (Jealousy was a big thing I struggled with when we were first married) and not being assertive enough about the right things (letting her wear the pants in marital decisions). A bit of a paradox but I do agree with her a bit.

[downhub]

So, my wife and I just had a long talk, and after pleasantly catching up after two weeks apart, she told me "I'm going to be sleeping at my uncle's house" (he has a spare room and lives with his wife and two kids) and I will go over there after our son goes to sleep and come back before he wakes up so he doesn't notice.

I wanted to beg and plead with her to stay, but I resisted, told her ok, that she was always welcome back, and then she said she doesn't want to see me much even during the day. I'm absolutely crushed, because before we were still living together, but maybe this is what she needs. She did say it's just for a time, and she thinks this is what she needs, I'm going to do my best to let her go and not bug her, but that meeting with chuck can't come soon enough.

[MoveFrwd]

I will go over there after our son goes to sleep and come back before he wakes up so he doesn't notice.

So, now you arent going to be able to go out ever and she gets to go out every single night? I call BS on that "arrangement".

[LH19]

I agree with Kaizen.

I would also be careful using statement like "your always welcome back".

Do you suspect OM?

[downhub]

So the exact words were "I don't want you to not feel welcome here" and she said "it's not that, I just feel that this is something I need to do, and it's just for a bit" but she didn't say how long. I'm figuring that maybe after a few weeks of living apart maybe I can re-open communication.

I asked her if the was OM, and she said if there was she would be with him. She tells me all the time she doesn't consider us together anymore.

[OwnIt]

Downhub, if this is the same uncle that is her age, I'm definitely thinking he is a big part of the problem here. This is just very odd and sounds at a minimum that there is an EA or daddy complex or something going on here.

[downhub]

Agree. I honestly don't believe it's an EA but there is something.

[downhub]

I met with chuck, and he gave me some great, helpful tips on GAL, enforcing a schedule, and challenging her core beliefs about me. It was good to hear someone specifically address my issues without being vindictive (which I realized I've been struggling with)

[Cristy]

I met with chuck, and he gave me some great, helpful tips on GAL, enforcing a schedule, and challenging her core beliefs about me. It was good to hear someone specifically address my issues without being vindictive (which I realized I've been struggling with)

Hello downhub,

I'm glad you had a great session with Chuck.

Please call me at 303-444-7004 when you would like to speak with him again and we can get you scheduled.


Cristy

Resource Coordinator
The Divorce Busting Center
303-444-7004