Wading through v. 2.0

[leahsue]

Hey girl,
Even though you got off topic a bit, I want to address that part first. I TOTALLY get what you are feeling about him/both of you moving back to the old neighborhood with her nearby. I feel like his ex is a clone of my H's ex, all the way down to the "not a nice person". She, too, has never remarried, and actually came on to him within the last few months (he doesn't know that I know this)- after hearing that we were "working through some things." She'd love nothing more than to see this marriage fail. And I'm not mind reading. She has flat out said that over and over. To further complicate things, the job that we moved up north for is one that her father was responsible for us getting. So she's tried to use that also, in her quest for control over H. So far, he's stood his ground. I have never worried about his going back to her, b/c I know how he was treated for the years in that marriage, and I believe, as much as anyone can know another's heart, that she would be the last person he would choose to be with. That said, it's frustrating to watch her try to manipulate him by using that job connection, not to mention the two children they have together. So yes, I get that, totally. I think what I would tell myself if I were in your situation, is- if he wanted to reconcile, he would steer clear of her neighborhood. He may pretend he doesn't see her influence in his daily life, but I think men know. Sometimes I think it's easier for them to pretend they don't. I'd stick to my gut on that one and go nowhere near that neighborhood.
As for the meeting~ are you strong enough at this point to meet with him, with no expectations of R? It's one thing to be strong through email, phone, etc., but face to face may be a little harder. If you are, and want to see him, then go.
However! If you're not, or you're not sure, then go with the advice above and buy yourself a little more time. You don't sound sure to me, but it's sometimes hard to read from just posts. The last thing I want to see you do is meet him, and crumble. You've worked too hard to claw your way to the emotional place you are now, and I don't want him to have the power to make that crash for you. On the other hand, if he is missing you, then that would be a good thing. But is he is, and you don't meet right now, he won't just stop missing you. So don't put a time line on it or think, this may be my last chance..... Give yourself time until you're sure you can handle the outcome of the meeting and be fine with it.
Either way, we've got your back! (((((Cadence)))))