I think you should go with your gut. Oh, I didn't realize you had some information. Why don't you send that via email and I can include it in my thought process. Something like that. I think you handled it great on the thinking about it. I have learned to do the same with my H because he never tells me anything and I also like to give it back a little. It is interesting watching him have to be the one to push the agenda now.
Well, just now I got a notice from my budget monitoring software that it can no longer access the joint account, so apparently he changed the password on it or closed the account. There was no money left, but it was my only route to the mortgage, since it is through that bank and I have no other accounts with them.
This may be all he wants to tell me. Or my cynical side says that perhaps this is my punishment for not doing what he wants me to do.
I do know that he wants to feel in control and like he can have me if he wants me. I've always been the mature steady one and he has never had to doubt my love for him. I think he never thought I'd move out, but I did. He'd never admit that bothered him, but I don't understand why he keeps wanting to talk/meet me.
My gut says several things right now and I'd like to hear from the vets.
While I want to DB, I don't know how it would work, honestly. With the hostile ex and the kids, the only way to progress our relationship on our terms involved us getting our own place.
The ex lived down the street from him, and when he asked me to move in with him, I told him that my boundary was that we needed to find a place to move that was away from her. She was constantly pushing boundaries and showing up and walking by, and she is not a nice person. I said we would need to find a new place within a year, and we did.
By selling the home that we bought together (across town from the awful ex), he is going to move back in her neighborhood and there is zero chance I'm moving back in to that awful place where I have to feel at her mercy.
Salvaging the R would mean living separately until the kids were grown, and what sort of R is that? I'd have to settle in every way possible.
I don't know. I'm getting off topic. Do I meet him or no? I don't feel like I want to, because I think it's just for him to feel in control of me/get a dose of Cadence.
