.....and by the way, he did agree to meet me. So, he is getting back to me with a day this week.
It felt good to get reassurance from my IC that I am not loving wrong and I am not doing this wrong. She is a believer that you don't reap all the benefits if you only put half of your heart in. She does absolutely believe you can love someone after 3 months. She also believes you can spend 10 years with someone, not really love them, and not even really know them. She ates I got my heart broken and this is the ending. I did not cry until I told her how I realize how he is hurting and why he hurting and what he hurting for. Why he is so angry and frustrated. I told her my heart truly hearts for him. She said "that's love, Ginger".
We likened our situations to houses. I have a small quaint beautiful house built me with me and D9. Our plants are watered, the house is home. However, there is this room to build an addition on this house. The right guy for me is going to want to build an addition onto our home or put our 2 houses together, and even if they are messy, we will both see it as the perfect house for us.
FF has his foundation. His FF job he's been on for a year. His own business he's unsure of. He wants to complete that home with a wife and have a kid when the time is ready to make their beautiful perfect home.
I don't ever want FF settling for my home because he couldn't afford what he wanted. Neither of us want that, and it only builds resentment.
I am sad because I was happy. I had what I wanted. On my end. A great connection, great companionship, having a blast, doing fun things. We talked about a cruise, or an all-inclusive vacation, we ad such a blast together. That's what I want in life right now. A partner I could have fun with and build on that. What we did have was awesome before he began to push me away.
I felt hopeless about finding these things for myself or D9. But I believe it's going to happen because I am being honest with myself.
