You are not a screwup. You are a human being. You have to forgive yourself and believe me, forgiving oneself is the toughest thing to do.
The EA thing is not very smart, because you are in no place emotionally to be stroking the flame. I know you are lonely and that you are looking for confirmation and it is nice to be found attractive by females of the opposite sex. But you are not there yet. Your world has been shattered and you have to rebuild yourself first and trust me, you have a lot of rebuilding to do and only in hindsight will you be able to see how much you have grown...
