Wife wants divorce, but hasn't said divorce

[jason35]

My wife and I have been separated for over 2 months now. She initially asked me to leave for a period of 2 weeks, which the next day she extended to a month, and set up marriage counseling for us with the goal of being saving our marriage. After 4 weeks of therapy she said she no longer saw a future for us, in the next session 2 weeks later she said she wanted steps to make our separation more permanent.

We have a 1 year old son.

She has been very clear in every way, but has not said the actual word divorce. The fact that she has not said divorce causes me great difficulty in accepting this.

Her issues with our marriage are my passiveness, convict avoidance, and lack of leadership. She feels that she has built the entire relationship and it is no irreparable. I have begun addressing these issue aggressively in therapy and owe a lot of help the the book ... She sees it as too little, too late. She had asked me to address these issues in therapy 6 months ago, which I attempted but was not focused enough or successful enough as I was also dealing with the stresses of a bad job, being a father, and sole provider of our family.

I do not want a divorce. I understand I can only affect change in myself, but I am looking for any advice I can find.

I have read The Divorce Remedy and have been following the 180 approach to my interactions with her but it seems to have no effect. I am considering that I need to do another 180 and be more open and honest, communicate more than I ever have before and hope beyond hope.

Please help.