Hello Sotto Thank you for you words... I am happy I vented here that day. Not that he doesnot deserve it . But honestly speaking I think he is in a very dark place . I wish him well and I don't think in his place he can think of what I need or I feel. I realize that we can't loose our expectations if we care. Once we don't care then we completely have no expectations from our spouses.
Yesterday I met a Buddhist monk and he was talking about desires that now we desire one thing now and once we get it we desire another and so on. Human being can't be satisfied with what they have. What if What we think makes happy now would not. Then we will continue on this journey trying to fulfil unsatisfied desires.Apparently this monk was earlier married and got divorced according to him he could not keep up with pleasing one person with desires keeps changing..
It was interesting although I don't think that is true but I bet my H uses this as an excuse in his mind that satisfying me is difficult. Sometimes he used to say that me and the kids deserve better . Dah I know that. Anyway seems after that day turmoil things got into place again ... nothing is situation changed only how I view things more objectively .
M 45 H 45 D1 12 D2 9 BD 04/14 Living two different state Not officially separated
