He is the one all about commitment, actually. Considered us in a serious solid relationship.
I think he is the one desperate for the commitment, actually. He's the one who has been looking into the future ALOT lately with his job and me, and houses and wives, and babies......
I was just chillin' having a great time being his GF.
...and speaking of FB, it's such a weird entity. I remember when I ended my relationship. I unfriended her and her best friend. Later she told me that her best friend was upset that I unfriended her because she said "we're just FB friends so what's the problem" Huh? I just ditched her best friend and she couldn't fathom why I might want to unfriend her too lol. I sent her a little message just saying that she had done nothing to me I just thought it might be less awkward if we weren't each others FB friend. Weird stuff. I say unfriend him...why should you be cut off from all your contacts because he's on your friends list. Live your life and eliminate him from it.
Thank you Wii. Thank you for that realization. I was finally for ONCE just enjoying the whole dating thing having a fantastic time, and it's the guy who gets all crazy over the future and commitment. I'm guilty of it in the past........ but not this time so much.
I could have kept going just as we were. I was content when he wasn't acting all crazy. And he was acting all crazy because he couldn't have babies with me. he was mad at me because I never discussed the fact I could see myself having children in the future. I said I didn't want to tell you yet because I didn't want to scare you away since we hadn't been dating long.
Yes, dating would be so nice if it didn't include people lol That's the frightening thing about dating is that you can't know or control anything that happens in the other persons head. You're very vulnerable...and so are they. Vulnerability makes people a bit crazy! My best friend got ghosted by two different women after about six months...no reason, no "it's not working out"...they just disappeared. I always tell him that his dating life helps me appreciate how blessed I am to be alone lol.
Nobody thinks you did anything wrong honey. It's irresistible when a man you are attracted to comes on all strong and romantic - every girl has that childish dream of the prince coming to sweep her off her feet.
BUT - I still disagree with this:
Quote:
I do disagree, jumping all in with my heart is a virtue, it's not neediness. It's a virtue I wish I didn't have, but one that is the make up of me.
Yes, it's great to have the capacity to love, and it's intoxicating to feel infatuated. BUT THAT'S ALL IT IS - INFATUATION. Real love comes later once you REALLY know someone. And succumbing to infatuation causes people to make bad mistakes sometimes. And often, the person who we become most easily infatuated with, is NOT the best partner, but the person who tells us what we want to hear, or the person who most resembles the parent we have issues with that we're still trying to work out, leading us to relive the pain.
Plus - that guy who comes on really strong in the beginning? Sure, sometimes people meet who are just so compatible they start a great romance right away. But often, that guy who comes on so strong, has ISSUES. He may be a love addict, who moves on to other highs once the initial infatuation wears off. He may be a sociopath like the guy I just stopped dating! (Sociopaths are experts at telling you what you want to hear.) He may be super needy himself.
In my experience, grown adult males with healthy boundaries don't jump quite that fast - they understand that dating is a process of getting to know someone, and you can't know them that well after a handful of dates.
So just look at the red flags here, so maybe next time you will recognize them sooner. And don't idealize him - he wasn't the right guy, even though he played the part for a very short while.
Our age did make a differences. And our stages in our lives were very different. he accused his sister of making bad choices because she has a picture in her head of how life should be, but I think he has a lot of the same.
I do not think he is a bad guy. I do think he cared for me. I think he cared for D9 too. I think he truly hoped he could have it all with us but realized he can't. He didn't know to be more careful with feelings.
He wanted to marry his best friend from 6th grade. They began to date junior year of high school, but she broke his heart and cheated on him when they were 21. She went on to marry and recently have a baby with that guy. I think he feels like that is what he is working towards but he is just no getting it.
I actually feel bad for him. In a little brother kind of way. I felt the same way being 27 with a baby and a husband who just left me for another woman. You see someone with the life that was supposed to be yours...... and it's devastating. I feel for him.
Maybe one day we could be friends. Maybe I could help him as a friend.
As for me. I need a MAN. By every definition of the word.
Absolutely, he came onto you like a teenager with a crush and it felt good so you went with it. You thought that maybe those dream movie like relationships really do happen...and the odd time they do. Live and learn...and kml's right, you did nothing wrong you just need to learn to protect your heart by going a little slower and letting the relationship grow and mature...and then jump in with both feet
