This is all a bit too much for me right now. I'm seeing my IC tonight and hopefully I will sort a bit out.
One question though. What does "jumping all in" mean to everyone? I think it might mean something different to all of us. Like I didn't make FF my life. I kept my life I knew as an individual going (which I don't think HE was happy with all the time). I mean I let myself enjoy the dating process and when I felt feelings of caring deeply for them, I didn't stop them. I let myself feel for the person I was learning about. Maybe I wasn't supposed to do that. It's what I do though. With friends, partners, whomever. That I cannot change about me. We just really enjoyed each other. I think the way I get sad when it's over makes people think I am so overly invested. I am just a strong feeler of loss. And gain.
