Coly, Many of them only take a few things and generally the items they take are things that we have mentioned to them. Their old lives are not currently on their radar, but when something is mentioned, it becomes something that is here and now.
When my xh left, he only took a uniform for one, some undies and one pair of jeans and shirt...that was it. All of his stuff was still in the house put away or hung up. He would venture back to the house periodically and the only way that I knew he was here is when the neighbor told me that he had come and stayed for over an hour. Nothing was ever out of place. I even stopped dusting to see if I could figure out what he was doing. The computer was pass word protected and the TV was on the channel I selected. The only thing I could figure out was that he was coming here to sleep. He always left before I arrived home.
As for his clothes, it took me several weeks to get him to finally come and get all of his clothes, etc. My mother packed him up (neatly) in black garbage bags and placed the stuff in the detached garage. It took him several trips, but he got it all and then claimed he was still missing personal stuff...not one bit...he had it all.
I will mention this because it has happened many times here...you need to take an inventory of your home to ensure that he's not taken something other than his clothes. They do tend to take things that you won't notice until you need them. The things they take do not make sense to us because they aren't thinking rationally and if they see something that strikes their fancy, they will take it.
So, the bottom line is this...you can't rationalize with irrational behavior. The best thing you can do is ensure that your personal papers are stored elsewhere since he still has a key. Password protect your computer, Ipad, etc. They love to snoop, but they don't want us doing it to them.
