Leaving it up to God (but still interfering!)

[AndrewP]

Coly23 - sending you a big hug because I don't have a lot helpful to say other than "been there - seen that".

You may remember that my STBX left her stuff which I presume she knew I had packed up in boxes in the front porch for 8 months. Previously she had asked for one of her recipe books and mused about her winter coats. There's still some exercise equipment there and the neighbours and I have made some somewhat unkind jokes about her perhaps needing it because of the weight she's put back on.

I forget who said it but it was probably job - "don't try to understand crazy". Personally I think that there's a massive disconnect in their brains between fairy-tale princess (or prince) land that they live in at least part of the time and "realsville" where we live. I've also read here a bunch of times that they expect the world to stand still while they are off. In my case there was and presumably still is an active affair going on - although after this time I chose to just think of el douche as her new guy - and she still wouldn't remove her stuff. For you, I don't know - he's perhaps just lost in the fog but not looking for a way out of it.

I hope that helps you at least know that this is very much not unique to you. I remember Jack_3_Beans writing to me that he ended up dumping his W's stuff on her doorstep - and that she was much less than impressed.

I know that for a long time I held on to the crumbs of hope that with her stuff still in the house that she hadn't let go and was planning on coming back. Those crumbs all turned to dust a while ago. I don't know for sure why she did come for the stuff in March but at least I now have that rope dropped. I suspect that if you want his stuff gone you'll have to box it up which will be very painful and instruct him to get it before you donate it.

((Coly23))