I've not read up on your whole situation and thinking about it, but I just remembered something that might be of help. You might already know about this, of course
Have you come across the 'grey rock' theory/behaviour? If you haven't, it might be worth checking out. I might help you back away from this whole situation in a really safe way.
I have a feeling that you might be really good at it, you're very aware/self aware and very good at controlling your thinking/actions in his regard. Might be worth a try?
