Lurker ready to ask for help with WW/WAW sitch!

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25YearsMLC I'll be back to respond more in depth to your post later today or tomorrow when I have more time. The short version is I have some clarifying to do on a few points from my perspective (i.e. my focus on the affair has been internalized, I have not been lording it over her at all) but overall I agree with the majority of what you have to say. I've not handled the sitch well because I am scared and acting emotionally. The good news is that I have 6 weeks now to give her space and when we meet up again I can come to the table with newfound understanding and clarity.

Kaizen, we came to a mutual agreement on me leaving the state for the trial separation and we came to that agreement with our MC who is also going to act as our divorce mediator should we decide to file. We are not using a lawyer at any point in this process. My tone comes off as combative, but in all honesty we have been completely amicable in this situation. This morning she cooked me breakfast and we had coffee together and watched Good Morning America. We both care deeply for each other, but the marriage is shattered and we both have different agendas on what to do about it. We're not trying to hurt each other.

The only reason I'm leaving the state isn't to punish her or hurt her, it's because we cannot financially afford a second residence. My parents live out of state, so that's where I'm going and it will be short term. After reading and reflecting on what 25YearsMLC had to say, I agree I'm acting emotionally and defensively by telling her if we don't start counseling I'll move away semi-permanently. I'd like to give her space, and when I return in 6 weeks let her know the last thing I want to do is put distance between me and her, me and the kids, or her and the kids and that we should try and figure out a way for us both to get what we need and go from there. I have plenty of time to reflect on that, no need to get too far ahead of myself, but for now just focus on PMA/GAL/180's and keeping things as good as possible between the W and I.