I didn't say he was my best friend, I said we were close friends. My best friends are those of 20+ years (dayum, I'm old.
We were forming a partnership which was really nice.
What am I getting over? It's not the possible future. he was the one I was enjoying in the moment. I was enjoying the companionship, the partnership, thinking of each other, sharing each others likes and dislikes, talking for hours while cuddling, making dinner together..... life stuff. having experiences together. Building on an emotional intimacy. it certainly did not reach it's full potential. it is not possible in 3 months, I am sure. But it was a process I was basking in. Now it's gone.
That's what I am going to miss. That's what I am withdrawing from. The present. Not the future. I let myself stay in the present with him and I rather enjoyed it.
I'm sure I did not REALLY know him yet. But I was loving the process of getting to know each other.
That's the loss I am feeling. It's simply a loss that I need to get over.
