25 - thank you for the reassurance regarding H's visitation rights. Others in real life had told me the same. I hope you are right.
OwnIt - you hit the nail on the head. Sometimes I do buy into what he says about me. Maybe more during the marriage as opposed to now, but I am sure some of those uncertainties still linger. I am desperately trying to resolve in my mind what issues are mind and what are his. H has done a lot of projection and blaming so I am sorting through what I really need to own.
For example, my son's electric toothbrush has stopped working. H has been to the store on a number of occasions since it has stopped working, but hasn't bought a new one. He has bought sundries for himself and OW. In the past, before MLC, I would have expected H to be thoughtful and helpful and to have enough forsight to buy a new one. (Of course, now, I expect the current behavior he is displaying.)
In a normal, non-MLC relationship, would that really be too much to expect? Under normal, non-MLC circumstances, would that be unreasonable of me?
When I stand back and think about it, I certainly don't think so.
It is these kind of things that I question. What do I need to own? What is him and what is me? If it is me, then I want to add whatever the issue is to the list of things I want to work on.
We are working on the arrangements for attending the wedding; it's in mid June. We will be staying at a hotel together in the same room. Ugh. Part of me wants my own room, but another part of me thinks this might just be me wanting to punish H, so I won't push the issue. If he becomes too annoying, I can leave.
I don't mind watching S during the wedding. Plus, he will be a convenient excuse to leave early. Oftentimes, I can only take so much of his family.
