I know you are really trying to understand. But putting a condition with the pillows, that's a bribe. You buy the pillows because you want her to have the pillows. or you don't buy the pillows because you feel like you are being taken advantage of.
It is more of the same. She is being receptive to you. But if you keep repeating the same patterns she is going ot see more of the same.
Sometimes in life we do things because we simply want to give, not getting something in return. If we keep giving, but get nothing, then we know it's time to stop giving so much.
We give without expectation of receiving. We give because deep in our hearts we love that person or want to make someone happy. There will be people who take advantage and people who won't. It's up to you to figure that out.
is your wife the type who would take advantage? is she a taker, not a giver?
And remember, sometimes what you give will not always be returned exactly in the way you want or thought it would be, but it will be returned.
