Last night I went kickboxing and I pack a mean punch as it is and I destroyed that bag and at one point we were just landing hooks ok that bag and tears just started to stream down my face.
I am angry. Angry that he did this without having to look me in the ye, without having to see me cry or the hurt he caused me. My friend had to talk me from the ledge because I wanted to ask me to meet him so he could see me in person. so he can say all of this to my face. She talked me down. I know it wouldn't change what he wants even though he made a rash decision. it's out there now. And he is right. I cannot give him the future he wants. he's got it planned a certain way and I can't do it. It's go nothing to do with who I am or what I am or our relationship. There is probably no loving someone so much especially in a short period of time to give up those dreams. I was just lead ot believe what he knew I had to offer was just what he wanted. But I guess a lot of life contemplating with his struggles led him to this. I can't and don't fault him for that.
Of course I sit here and wonder if he misses me as much as I miss him. Or misses me at all. He's got one best friend and a cousin as a friend and he is close with his parents, but other than that, I was his closest friend. We had that package, and he admits the great friendship we had. So I can imagine he hurts a bit too.
