When I was at MIL's house in Feb for Step-FIL's massive stroke, I wrote MIL a letter before I left basically saying what you said above. It was heartfelt and difficult to write. I figured that would be the last time I ever stepped foot in that house and it made me extremely sad. I also left her a bunch of cash since, at the time, she had no access to money. Step-FIL managed all the accounts and whatnot and even though they had money in the accounts, it took her a couple weeks to sort out the legal bs. She knows how I feel. She thinks he daughter is an idiot, but she is consumed with taking care of her H. Even if she weren't, my W has to come to her own conclusions, not be forced by others. Influenced, sure, but you can't push a rope, right?
