I believe that many of the most productive actions that we can take in DBing are those that do not in fact directly relate to our interaction or relationship with our spouses. DBing is really, at its core, about self growth and development isn't it? And when we are well on the road and gaining momentum in journey of self growth, our spouses should see and be positively affected by that growth, right?
So, some of the most positive actions we can take "for our spouses" are really positive actions we take for ourselves, to make ourselves happy and enrich our own lives irregardless of what occurs with our spouses.
Some of the outward or visible, and positive, actions (and they do have to be able to be visible by our spouses in order to have an effect on them) that I have enacted in the past few months and will be enacting in the coming months: - I have become much more physically involved in my church and my daughters' school. - I have been working out, eating right, and getting in good physical shape (and dressing better too). - I've drastically curbed my use of bad language (actually greatly irked my wife the other day when she was freaking out and being verbally abusive to me by saying "shame on you" to her, rather than the usual retort she might expect). - I'm going to take flying lessons this spring or early summer (how's that for "rising above" our relationship problems? Ha!)
That's a few examples. And maybe the neatest thing about focusing on positive actions in our lives is that not only do they positively affect our relationship with our spouses but they really will have a big and lasting influence on our own attitudes and ability to deal with the pain and heartache inherent in DBing.
So, our actions speak loud to ourselves too I guess, don't they?
