You can still work on your R while remaining firm to what you deserve. Continue setting boundaries for yourself and stick to them!
I don't know if I deserve it. He contributed much more than me, but in the eye of the law we are both equal owners, so this is really tough.
I fear that sticking up for 50% will just cause acrimony and bitterness.
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Also, IMPO, I would not aid or help him in any way in regards to this break up.
Oh gosh, no. Once he broke up with me, I set major boundaries. This was prior to knowing about DBing or (suspected) MLC, so I asked him to leave the bedroom. Before he officially ended things, I thought he'd come around, so I'd happily announce every night that I loved him just before we fell asleep, as I'd done for years. He'd just grunt in return. (Cringe.)
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How long did you try to get him to talk to you?? If he wants to talk so bad just remind him that this isn't what you wanted so he needs to speak to your L about it.
Quite a long time. Before I moved, he'd approach me and say things like "we need to talk about the house" and I'd say "'We??' Now you want to work collaboratively?"
Even after I knew I had the advantage with regard to the house, I tried to get him to come to his senses, which probably pushed him further away.
It's so hard to know what to do. On one hand, I feel like I should insist upon getting back what I put in, no more, no less, and call it a day. On the other hand, I feel like I should stand up for what is legally mine. He entered into a contract and doesn't get to change that on a whim.
Unfortunately, this depression has me unable to make decisions and questioning everything that I do. I'm afraid to do something I regret and it feels so high stakes. He's done this (left me out of the blue shortly after proclaiming his undying love for me and just prior to a major commitment), so why would I expect differently? What am I scared of losing? I find it hard to believe that my friends and family wouldn't be extremely disappointed in me if I gave him another shot.
But I've also never felt so loved, and I've been sure since early on in our relationship that he's the one for me. But maybe I'm wrong. ARGH.
