Lurker ready to ask for help with WW/WAW sitch!

[25yearsmlc]

I don't know the other programs or approaches you are using, so I cannot comment on them.

I do know that many approaches vary, and so to me, it's best to only use one at a time. Like a "control" group,, so you'll know better now to monitor.

A lot of approaches conflict with DBing too. But I love your brave assessment of your program. I'm personally familiar with the 12 step program and know dry drunks are not necessarily big improvements for the family. You are relatively new to sobriety so all I can do now is applaud your efforts and naturally, encourage you to get back to some meetings.

Here is one thing I know **No matter what marriage retreat or personal growth workshops I've attended, LOVED and or gotten profound lessons from,

if I don't keep at it, I will positively backslide.

Anyhow, In my opinion (and not all DBers will agree b/c they have been betrayed by infidelity and will solely focus on the A),

you realized that you had serious issues to work on, and she had been doing the heavy lifting in the marriage & family for years.

But now that she's having an EA, (or more?) you want your whole focus to be on the boundary you set, and multiple tests of her "waywardness". Your focus seems to be on categorizing what she is and how to predict outcomes on HER end...

You yourself were wayward and abusive, (per you,) so naturally she's not too interested in risky conversations.

Is this^^^ a fair assessment?