Had a tiny step back today. Usually life is good and I enjoy it as I'm in a better place than two years even a year ago. I Ike my own company, GAL (mainly at weekend as got kids' activities during the week), I'm way better off financially now, but today I cried when I got a call from solicitor telling me that ex no longer contest the ground for filing for divorce.
On this one his solicitor has been a good adviser as it would have cost ex a lot more if he were to challenge me (and I know that he has problems with money). Even if I knew it was coming in two week I will get my decree nisis and 6 weeks later I can be officially divorced. I cried not because I miss ex and want him back, but because I felt like a failure as I took my vows not light hearted but it wasn't the case for ex.
I'm not lying that there was still 1% of hope that he would realised what he was throwing away. I'm worried that my heart is on a self protective mode and it will become hard. At the moment I don't believe in love and I'm nowhere near ready to date, but I feel that ex has never been prepared to support me with my depression ( that started before his mum died) and that he took all the best part of me to feed himself with whatever he is missing and once he noticed he had taken everything he went onto his next victim ( maybe OW won't be his next victim).
I just hope that somewhere somehow God will balance it all for me.
