Technically, it is a significant amount that he would owe. Its all a matter of perspective though, but what he would owe me by splitting the depleted marital assets would pay a 20% down payment on a home here. Or a nice portion of sons college. It [censored] because all this money going to drugs could have paid for a home here and a really comfortable mortgage! And that's just from a 3 year point. I don't have financials beyond that.
I do have to consider the following:
The cold Practical stuff:
1. If I pursue, I would change lawyers. Litigation costs are high and negate some of what i would have the possibility of obtaining. So may not be a down payment. And probably stretched out over the next bunch of years.
2. There is also the issue of will he even be able to repay if it is mandated. If he has an addiction (and it really truly seems to be the case) I don't see how he can sustain a job for much longer. I don't know how much longer his health will hold out. There is currently no money, as he is building up credit card debt again (blames it on child support) He withdrew high amounts from his retirement account and yet lives with mom and earns 6 figures. But this shows me he is most likely still purchasing some expensive stuff.
Some people think he is not using drugs, but hiding money. If this was the case, I would pursue legally. But the fact that he has cc debt, and withdrew from IRA, and lives with mom seems to indicate something is up. (unless he is a manipulative master mind and hates me that much )
Sad Emotional stuff
1. I still care about him. Obviously, There is no chance of reconciliation. But I am not looking to do things to further stress and downward spiral. He obviously has some pretty bad demons he is dealing with.
2. This will prolong mental agony for all of us. Heres the crazy thing...He gets annoyed that I am taking so long BUT HE HAD SO MANY DAMN SECRETS!!!
3. I am worried that I am constantly giving in and giving in and giving in. GIVING IN COMES AT MY EXPENSE AND THUS SONS EXPENSE. I have an obligation to secure resources for son. He has been extremely selfish regarding resources. WHen I confronted him he actually said "I provided and made sure everything was paid off. Its my money I can spend it anyway I want" THIS WAS NOT TRUE. HE MOVED IN WITH MY PARENTS FOR A YEAR.
