As the witching hour draws near, (6 pm, starting time for the annual meeting). I find myself stuggling to stay calm and centered. If there was any way I could get out of being at this meeting, I would run for the hills. I don't know what H is going to do, I don't know what OW is going to do, H was not real reassuring to my bad DBing question this morning, I just feel real insecure about having to be in same room with them for 2 hours. I've set by H at these things for almost 20 years, so it's scaring the heck out of me. I'm a grown and middle aged woman and I'm scared to death! I've exchanged a couple of emails w/h today, they are pretty terse on his part (mine are short in response)....maybe he feels as anxious as I do....i don't know. I don't know. Oh god, it just occurred to me, I think OW may have sat across the table from us last year, I'm pretty sure she did as I think back....boy was I dense then! O well Help you guys (and gals, anyone!!!!) what do I do? How am I going to do this? Saturday seems like a piece of cake compared to this, and I still havent figured out how to deal with it.
Somebody come by and breathe some guts or courage or panache or something into me.........I guess if nothing else I'll start repeating "I can do it" over and over and visualize myself being calm, collected and a "class act". I did make it through staff meeting with flying colors yesterday, no problem, when the month before I was wanting to run out the door or hide in the bathroom.
If I was H I would be feeling like a lower-than-a-snakes-belly slime ball about right now; not sure how I'd feel if I was OW, I guess it would depend on how things were going. Actually, I would feel like I was a slimy slut if I did what she's done, but I wouldnt do it so have a hard time recognizing it.
