Wow feyth... sometimes we are too similar. I am glad you are able to recognize that co-dependent thinking so you can work on it.
I was taking an MBA class right during bomb drop time (the final was three days after BD eeck). It was about objectivity but it was a really small class and it was basically a psych class. So you do a lot of reflecting and thinking. You meet with the professor one on one to try and figure out what your 'mental model' is so you can identify it and see how it affects your life. So we meet and we start talking... am I a perfectionist? naw... not really. Am I controlling??... nope. Am I in constant competition... Can't say I am. Do you think that you are not good enough, limited and have trouble accepting yourself? Wait a second... we might have something here! I never realized it until I had that conversation with the professor.
I think that once you see that that is an issue... then you can really work on it. Seems like you are there and I am getting there. But it is hard to not feel that way sometimes. It's like you feel that way and you have to tell yourself that it is not true, but you still feel that way. I don't know, it is weird. I am sure your H and my WW did not help matters much in that regard. I try to figure out where that mind set came from but cannot pin point it just yet. But just knowing that is only a mindset is really a huge help for me.
